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Thursday, May 20, 2010

marriage is....

Twenty-one years ago today I walked down the aisle (with extremely big hair) and married this man.

I once heard someone say if you marry the right person, you will never have a fight. That person is drinking a very special Kool-Aid. That's not reality, unless maybe you've only been married a year and live on separate continents. But you know what? It seems that people don't often talk about the reality of marriage.

Marriage is bliss.

Marriage is hard.

Marriage is tears.

Marriage is uncontrollable laughter.

Marriage is lonely at times.

Marriage is security.

Marriage is not keeping score.

Marriage is being so angry you don't want to be touched.

Marriage is having someone wrap their arms around you at night while you sleep.

Marriage is selfless.

Marriage is putting aside your own dreams for a while so the other can fulfill theirs.

Marriage is finding the log in your own eye.

Marriage is love. A love you never knew before.

Marriage is forgiveness.

Marriage is making time for each other no matter what.

Marriage is trust.

Marriage is adventure.

Marriage is loving the same person, even though time inevitably changes who we are.

Marriage is commitment. A digging in with your heels type of commitment.

Marriage is comfort.

Marriage is being uncomfortable.

Marriage is having someone see your true self and still love you.

Marriage is work.

Marriage is painful.

Marriage is praying in the middle of the night together when it seems all hope is lost.

Marriage is rejoicing.

Marriage is honesty.

Marriage is preferring the other person.

Marriage is messy.

Marriage is real.

Authors John and Staci Eldridge describe marriage as a "love story in the middle of a war". I love that. It's honest. It's real. I think that sums it up. Marriage isn't perfect because people are not perfect. It is a journey we go on together through this life.

There is no one I'd rather be on this journey with than my husband Rod.

I love you Rod even more deeply than I did 21 years ago. Thank you for loving me, too.

Happy Anniversary!


leatitia said...

very sweet. happy anniversary!

ItchyBits said...

Happy Anniversary! - but....

"Marriage is finding the log in your own eye."


michelle from six in the city said...

Matthew 7:3
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Jennifer said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

Evita Gahagan said...

terrific post. Makes my heart soar and yet I feel understood in regards to what I've found is the reality of marriage on my short little journey. (going to reference this post in a counseling session we have with a couple this weekend actually!)

When Adam and I first got married I asked a dear friend who had been married 60+ years about the "marry the right person you'll never have a fight" idea. She laughed at me. Then said, "No honey, if you marry the right person you'll have the best make-up sex AFTER you fight."

Loved that woman.


Danielle (elleinadspir) said...

Congrats and best wishes to you guys!!

Joan said...

that was beautiful. thanks for sharing.

Dayna said...

Sorry that I missed this yesterday. Happy Belated Anniversary! What a wonderful tribute. To God be the glory!

Jamie said...

How beautiful. My husband and I are on our 21st year as well. You are so matter how tough it gets being with someone sometimes -- I wouldn't change a thing. There's no one I'd rather be on the journey with. Have a special day ~ and evening.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. Twenty one years, in the times we live, is a great success story. Keep it up.

Just Mom said...

Marriage is absolutely a commitment. It's also sweeter when each person lets go of their own desires and dies to themselves.

Great post, Michelle, and Happy Anniversary!

Elizabeth said...

Happy Anniversary to the two of you. I love the wedding photo!

Surviving and thriving on pennies said...

OMG on my Google reader, right after this post is a advertisement for people who have been cheated on. I swear!
On another note-Congrats on your anniversary! Its going on 11 years for me and my hubby.

3 Peanuts said...

SO SO SO beautiful and so true...every word of it. Happy anniversary. I love this post.

jody said...

Happy Anniversary!
Really beautiful post.
Marriage does not escape the brokenness of this world.
And there is transforming grace available for the willing...

Thank you.
May it be a blessed day of celebration for you two...

Katherine said...

In the eloquent words of Facebook, I "like this."
Happy anniversary to you two!

thida said...

happy anniversary! and, i can personally attest to the fact that being married a year and living on separate continents does still create a breeding ground for fights. (at least there isn't anyone else in the world we'd fight that much with :) congrats!

Emily said...

"Marriage is loving the same person, even though time inevitably changes who we are."

And I'm SO GLAD we do change. My husband and I are such different people than we were when we met, and still different than who we were when we were first married. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Anonymous said...

congratulations to the both of you <3

Kelly Tirman said...

Congrats - not only is your post sweet but it gave me a lot of good advice. We are about to hit our 7 year mark.

Beth said...

I don't think it could have been said more accurately . . . Or more beautifully! Hope your celebrating is beautiful too. Love you guys.

kelsie said...

happy anniversary! my husband and i are one month away from our one year anniversary! so it is couples like you that excite us and give us hope!

ps- love the eldridge's

Mrs. T said...

I hope you had a Happy Anniversary!!!

Elly (Chicellarose) said...

Lovely!! Hope you had a wonderful day. We just celebrated 36 years a couple of weeks ago!! Unbelievable.

Beth said...

Happy Anniversary! Those things about marriage are so true. Every fight with my husband makes me love him a little bit more--and they're as important as the fairy tale vacations for keeping it real!

Jennifer said...

Happy Anniversary Rod and Michelle! I could not agree more. No one ever tells you about the hard times in marriage and the unbelievable commitment it takes to keep your marriage alive and thriving. Communication is definitely a HUGE key to this and so many people just don't get that and give up because they are too scared to communicate their needs to their spouse. Marriage is messy and fun and thrilling at times, and hard at times but completely and totally worth it all. I am so proud of you guys for 21 years! That is amazing! We are working on 12 years marriage/13 together. Jennifer

Brooke said...

Wonderfully said and beautifully worded. Congratulations!

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