Recent Posts

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Targhetto

As you may know from a previous post, I am deeply saddened by the fact that there is no Target in Manhattan. Many of you suburbanites wept with me. I appreciate your comfort and support. But I also received lots of comments from New Yorkers that basically said,

"Stop crying and get over yourself. Put on your big girl panties and schlep yourself to the Target in the Bronx."

New Yorkers don't really hold back.

So my friend Mitch and I decided to do it. We decided to take the subway to the Bronx and live the Target Challenge.

But before I went I thought I should do a bit of research. I have a Masters Degree in Google Search. I can tell you what that odd smell coming from your sink is, the color blush Kim Kardashian wears, and if your child has bed bug bites or mosquito bites. Email me. I am a wealth of information.

Anyway, I found some reviews on the Target we were going to visit. Turns out it is commonly called Ghetto Target and people liken it to a day at the spa. Here's what one reviewer said:

This place is kind of like a department store version of a bikini wax; its painful during the ordeal, but when you leave and take a couple of Advil's, you realize a few hours later it was worth it.

Descriptive. And maybe not exactly like a day at the spa. But Mitch and I headed out with reckless abandon anyway. Here we are entering the store.



You would have thought they were also giving out free Margaritas by the look on our faces.

Then we hit the aisles. It took me a while to remember how to navigate through aisles of items I really don't need, but I soon got into the groove. It's like riding a bike. And by the end, my cart was full of things I hadn't originally planned on purchasing. (The sign of a successful Target trip.)

I won't lie, it's not like suburban Target. It's a lot more intense. It's crowded, no sales people are really anywhere to be found, which is why I ended up helping an elderly man find appropriate rain boots for his grand-daughter. And there is a lot of yelling. I don't remember the yelling in suburban Target. But the YELLING IS OUT OF CONTROL. People of Ghetto Target, assign your group a spot to congregate if you get separated from each other. It will be much easier for all of us.

Here's a picture of Mitch afterwards that pretty much sums up our exhausting experience.



By the way, Mitch is pushing our things in his granny cart. A granny cart is a necessity if you live in the city and don't have a car. We lugged that granny cart all the way up the subway stairs. And then we found out we went up the wrong side and had to lug it back down. Actually, Mitch had to lug it back down, because I needed to take a picture.



Yes, we got our items, but we paid for it with emotional sanity. And we would do it again in a heartbeat. Sometimes you just need to experience a Target. Even if it is a Ghetto Target.

24 comments:

~Ginger said...

LOL! I'm sure the experience was eventful if Mitch was there! Makes me want to shop with you and I hate shopping!

The Vagabond Priest said...

Whoo hoo! Granny cart! I think they are fab even if you do have a car- When you live in a highrise, you don't want to make more than one trip up and down. For the record, my mother mocked me when I bought my granny cart. It took her one visit to become a believer.

Taylor said...

LOVE it! Same here in Chicago

Heidi Jo said...

i love the picture of mitch lugging the cart up the stairs (or down). priceless.

Ashley Mutschler said...

I love it! I had no idea that there was a Target in the Bronx!

Rafaela said...

Heloooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
are u crazy to go to Bronx for a Target ride??????
wake up, girl!!!
go to 33th street with 6th ave, take the PATH train and go to PAVONIA/NEWPORT, first stop in NJ,
than, walk 2 blocks and there u go! the perfect suburbian target! sales, no yelling people.. peacefull! rsrsrs!
xo xo!
(the ride takes 15 min.)

Elizabeth said...

Another shoulder-shaking laugh. I can't wait until you take the bus to Jersey Ikea --that's an experience worthy of any New Yorker.

Cat said...

I have three suburban SUPER Targets to choose from and one regular Target (you're jealous, no?) but what I wouldn't give for an Ikea. We're getting one next year and I'm sure I'll make the quarterly pilgrimage even if it's just for the free kid watching.

Your trip reminds me of the TJ Maxx on 16th Street in Denver. It *is* a TJ Maxx, but with yelling and weird smells.

fe said...

There is a Target in Brooklyn too! Maybe your next trip should be there :-)

Einat said...

You should review all the targets that you can reach by mass transit!

Aysegul - nysdelight said...

Funny! Welcome to NY! You should head out to NJ or Long Island - they have nicer targets.

Tarina said...

I freaking love it! Especially the granny cart...never underestimate the power of the granny cart LOL!

Danielle said...

I heart the change in poor Mitch's face. In fact I checked to make sure he was indeed the same person... the shirts match. All for the love of Target. Should be their new ad campaign.

Just Mom said...

"And by the end, my cart was full of things I hadn't originally planned on purchasing. (The sign of a successful Target trip.)"

BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... So-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o true.

btw ... HI MITCH!

Susan Wyatt said...

Have you tried the other Bronx target...700 Exterior St Bronx, NY 10451. It's really a nice one. Not ghetto at all and it is in a shopping center with Home Depot, Michaels, Bed Bath and Beyond and Best Buy, oh and Babies R Us!

Love your blog!

Paty said...

Brave !!!!! A lot of stores that I like dont have one in Manhattan... Marshalls , Michaels, and TArget! Do you think it is worthy going there or order online? The other two you cant do it....

Cindy said...

I live in Kentucky where Target is one of my favorite places to go so I definitely understand! I just returned from visiting my husband's grandmother in Wappinger's Falls, NY and I went shopping one day at the local Target and it was a nice store but I must say it was not the same experience. I don't want to offend anyone so I will leave it at that.

Dayna said...

Wow. I'm really glad that you have Mitch so that you won't lose your suburbanite dignity lugging the granny cart. This was so funny. And for the record, there's no Target in Moçambique, either. So, why do people in the Bronx get to have a Target if they don't know how to properly use it?

Feeling your pain in Moz...

Patty said...

How do they not have a Target in Manhattan?

Kategems said...

You should totally Zipcar. Eliminates lugging stuff on the subway back from Ghetto Target. As for the option of going out to the one in NJ...my husband and I actually think Ghetto Target is less crowded and less stress enduing than the one in NJ.

PS. Cindy-there is actually a Michaels in Manhattan now. 98th & Columbus, its great! And there is a TJ Maxx there too!

Beth said...

You so crack me up—what a riot!! Makes me miss our Canton Trade Days visits . . . I rarely go now that you're gone. Mitch was such a perfect friend to go with you—and he even pushed the granny cart—priceless memory I'm sure.

Lisa said...

Just found your blog, Michelle, and am totally intrigued! As my husband and I were walking the dog last night, I was telling him about you and your family and what an adventure you guys must be having!! Am leaving my email address and am respectfully requesting you contact me as I had a couple of questions. (It's so difficult to know how to not be creepy-stalky in asking you to contact me on the internet, you know??!) kasawa62@gmail.com Thank you so much! Lisa

3 Peanuts said...

I feel for you. I really do. I am at my local Target a few times a week. I think you were brave to face the ghetto Target:) Love all the posts below too...just catching up. Looks like LIly had a lovely b-day. The Eloise store is so cute. We just finished painting Kate's room wide pink and white horizontal stripes. I plan to post it next week. I still need to add some finishing touches:)

Courtney said...

Okay, so I'm really delayed in reading this post. But as someone who lives in Riverdale now I laughed my butt off when I saw your title of Targhetto! That's totally what my husband and I call that target. We have a rule that in order to go there it MUST be before 10AM otherwise it's not worth it and can totally ruin the fabulosity of Target. Not to mention the sheer thought of hauling your granny cart all the way up those stairs just to find out your on the wrong side literally had my laughing so hard as I had the same experience when we moved to the city. I must say don't give up on that target yet. They always have good stuff left when all of the other nearby Targets are sold out. Remember GO EARLY!!!!

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails