As you may know from a previous post, I am deeply saddened by the fact that there is no Target in Manhattan. Many of you suburbanites wept with me. I appreciate your comfort and support. But I also received lots of comments from New Yorkers that basically said,
"Stop crying and get over yourself. Put on your big girl panties and schlep yourself to the Target in the Bronx."
New Yorkers don't really hold back.
So my friend Mitch and I decided to do it. We decided to take the subway to the Bronx and live the Target Challenge.
But before I went I thought I should do a bit of research. I have a Masters Degree in Google Search. I can tell you what that odd smell coming from your sink is, the color blush Kim Kardashian wears, and if your child has bed bug bites or mosquito bites. Email me. I am a wealth of information.
Anyway, I found some reviews on the Target we were going to visit. Turns out it is commonly called Ghetto Target and people liken it to a day at the spa. Here's what one reviewer said:
This place is kind of like a department store version of a bikini wax; its painful during the ordeal, but when you leave and take a couple of Advil's, you realize a few hours later it was worth it.
Descriptive. And maybe not exactly like a day at the spa. But Mitch and I headed out with reckless abandon anyway. Here we are entering the store.
You would have thought they were also giving out free Margaritas by the look on our faces.
Then we hit the aisles. It took me a while to remember how to navigate through aisles of items I really don't need, but I soon got into the groove. It's like riding a bike. And by the end, my cart was full of things I hadn't originally planned on purchasing. (The sign of a successful Target trip.)
I won't lie, it's not like suburban Target. It's a lot more intense. It's crowded, no sales people are really anywhere to be found, which is why I ended up helping an elderly man find appropriate rain boots for his grand-daughter. And there is a lot of yelling. I don't remember the yelling in suburban Target. But the YELLING IS OUT OF CONTROL. People of Ghetto Target, assign your group a spot to congregate if you get separated from each other. It will be much easier for all of us.
Here's a picture of Mitch afterwards that pretty much sums up our exhausting experience.
By the way, Mitch is pushing our things in his granny cart. A granny cart is a necessity if you live in the city and don't have a car. We lugged that granny cart all the way up the subway stairs. And then we found out we went up the wrong side and had to lug it back down. Actually, Mitch had to lug it back down, because I needed to take a picture.
Yes, we got our items, but we paid for it with emotional sanity. And we would do it again in a heartbeat. Sometimes you just need to experience a Target. Even if it is a Ghetto Target.