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Thursday, December 10, 2009

a message to my daughter

Dear Lily,

You are only six years old. This move has brought out an excitement in you that I'm having trouble containing. In a 1200 square foot apartment. Even though this attribute is exhausting, I actually love your enthusiasm towards life. You adore absolutely everything about New York. But I'm noticing you need a few lessons. I thought I'd share them here with you.

1. Please stop chasing the pigeons. They are not "purdy" birds. They are dirty birds that pick up the germs of the city. Also, if you chase one more of these into oncoming traffic, I think I might have a heart attack.

2. If you find gum or candy on the street, please do not pick it up no matter how sparkly it looks. Same rule applies if your own gum or candy falls out of your mouth onto the street. The "5 second rule" does not apply in NYC.

3. Rats are not cute. I realize that's confusing because they are covered with fur. But again, these are germ infested inhabitants of this great city. Also, do not tell me when you see one of these rats on the subway- especially if you are going to describe them as "fuzzy and orange." I can't control the automatic scream that comes out of my mouth when you do this. And I'm trying to be a cool New Yorker.

4. We live in an apartment now. That means that there are people that live below us. They do not appreciate your gymnastics routine- especially after 8 pm. I have received a call from our doorman to back this up.

5. Elevators are fun. Especially when you live on the 31st floor. But other residents of our building don't like it when you push the wrong buttons. Something about elevators makes people grumpy. In fact, your father almost got in a fist fight last night on the elevator.

6. Show tunes are allowed to be sung in the laundry room. However, other residents, who do their laundry when we do, are not part of your cast. They don't want to participate with you no matter how loud you keep singing.

7. And finally, even though it drives your brothers crazy, it's ok with me if you continue calling where you live "New York Big City."

Love,
Mom

11 comments:

Heidi Jo said...

new york will not know what hit it....when ms. lily's through with it:0) love it.

d a v i d m o l n a r said...

That is amazing! Truly cracks me up!

Sohailah said...

LOVE it. L-OV-E it! And I've missed TWO posts after faithfully checking your blog for WEEKS!!

Glad it's going well. Maybe we can catch up sometime when I'm there on a tour.

nickernoodle said...

My favorite part is the laundry room. I can just see Lily trying to involve everyone in her world full of rainbows and unicorns! I just love her!

Teresa said...

Go get em Lily!

Alicia said...

SO funny! Love it! We live on the outskirts of Chicago, and I work in the city. We're deciding if we want to sacrifice square footage for some city fun. You definitely inspire me to give it a whirl!

Kellee said...

Rod in a near fist fight?!? I don't believe it!

Sounds like things are going well there! We SO want to go back to NYC for a vacation. We'll have to meet up!

3 Peanuts said...

SO darling. I found your blog through Velvet and Linen and am enjoying reading it. Is Lily from China? I have two sons and a daughter from China..she is 3 and 1/2 and quite a handful:) Love your new apt. So cozy. Enjoy Christmas in the city!!! I grew up in Bucks Co, Pa and we would always visit NYC (especially around the holidays) but I have never lived there.

Anonymous said...

Michelle,
Truly funny.

Thank you for educating your children to the importance of "noise containment."

It's one of the biggest issues in apartment buildings where sound does indeed "carry."

We New Yorkers can be as fun and lighthearted as many out of towners, but there are certain "rules" that do make life a lot easier for everyone.

Your lighthearted instructions about things go a long way in helping your kids understand "how things work" here. On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers in apartment buildings, we thank you for taking the time to help your daughter learn and observe "city" building etiquette.

Now, if you could only go out and instruct the thousands of kids whose parents are not as polite and well-mannered as you are!

Sickitten said...

Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom and so is the world for you raising them well. Happy Holidays to you.

Lady said...

Ah! Just started reading your blog... and this post is fantastic! I love it! Especially the part about showtunes in the laundry room! That's great! I'd join her in song and dance if it was my laundry room. :)

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