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Friday, February 19, 2010

i burn a lot of calories when i sleep

My husband and I have been married 20 years. And throughout those years we have bought a variety of beds to sleep in. I can't tell you how many times I had to rewrite that sentence so it didn't sound like something else.

The oddest bed was a water bed in the early 90's when we lived in Peru. Let's face it, anyone using a water bed after the 70's is a little strange, right? It should really only be in a room with a lava lamp and an orange shag carpet. But at that time it was difficult to get a real bed in Peru that was not filled with straw, so we shipped a water bed down there and used it for almost 2 years. I was also pregnant with our first child at that time and I'm sure you can visualize a very fat, pregnant woman trying to get out of a water bed each morning. I'll give you a moment to imagine that....It was not a pretty site and I usually had to get some waves going to propel me out. Needless to say, when we moved back to the states, we left the water bed in Peru.

We had a queen sized bed until we had more than 2 kids. When our kids were little they liked to pile in at wee hours of the morning. The more than frequent elbow to the face or knee to stomach prompted us to have the genius idea of LETS GET A KING SIZE BED!

We were quite happy with our king size bed, but then we decided to move to New York. Most apartments are not large enough for king size beds so we downsized once again to a queen. It was traumatic and took some time to adjust to. Apparently, I move around quite a bit when I sleep. Rod relayed the stories in the morning as to how I ran circles around the entire mattress. I had no recollection. What? I don't sleep like a little angel?

And then I noticed an email in my inbox one morning from Rod. What was it? A love email? A email invite to a lovely dinner out? Then I read the message line: THIS IS TOTALLY WHAT YOU HAVE. I opened it and clicked on the link. Apparently the nights are so rough he felt the need to assign a medical diagnosis to me. I had restless leg syndrome. I scanned the article and it said there is no known cure. Unfortunately, that means Rod is going to have to keep sleeping with someone who exercises while sleeping.

I'm so sorry, honey. But I would like to remind you of the time in Peru when I awoke in the middle of the night to find you grasping my head like a basketball, dribbling it back and forth across the bed. You were sound asleep and told me the next morning you dreamed you were actually playing basketball.

This just shows you and I are the most athletic when we are fast asleep.

6 comments:

~Ginger said...

This is cracking me up! My husband has killed snakes in the night (using my leg). Punched the wall (unsure what he was killing). Crawled across the floor to bury the cable??? Huh? Counted all 49 (again, HUH?) state without messing up the sheets, and more!

Ummm, so I grind my teeth and need a bite split! Do you think I NEED to grind my teeth with all the strange action going on in the night?

Whoa, good thing he has no idea I've just shared all this private stuff, LOL

Lisa H said...

I was already laughing at this post, but Ginger has me cracking up worse! :)

It's nice that you get your exercise in your sleep!

Dana said...

I have RLS! Was just talking to Jay about it last night. However, I only get it when I am prego. It is the most annoying feeling ever...like I just CAN'T stop my legs from moving!!!

Perhaps it is just preparing me for life with three kids under the age of four! Ha! :)

Taylor said...

OMG!!!! I need to show my man this post! HE claims i go into battle when I sleep. I flail my arms, kick and mess the blankets. I am not sure, I seem to wake up on my own side of the bed, nicely covered, arms by my side. (Maybe he is 'putting' me back that way to give himself an ounce of space!)

Well thankfully we are planning a bedroom redo - and a King size bed is on the agenda....I am sure he will miss improving his karate skills after dark!

dkzody said...

We have a waterbed, the same one for over 35 years. My husband had it when we got married and we have replaced the mattress over the years, but can never bring ourselves to give it up. It is so nice and warm during the cold winters. My husband is very thin and finds it the only way he can sleep comfortably.

However, we now have a studio apartment on the 17th floor of a San Francisco highrise where no waterbed will ever be allwoed. We are on the lookout for a new bed. Right now we have an airbed that a dear friend has loaned us. We are considering a thermapedic foam mattress on a platform.

Beth said...

Oh Michelle! I just love it that you share so much stuff when you blog!! You totally crack me up. I was reading your last several posts aloud to David—he was loving them too.

I love keeping up with your new york life this way . . . thank you for blogging. Totally fun for all of us! : )

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