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Monday, October 5, 2009

diagnosis drama

Lily (age 6) decided to liven up our weekend by producing a mysterious breathing pattern. She started this on Friday, but I didn't pay much attention to it at first. (She's our 4th. ) She kept taking loooonnnng, deeeeeep breaths, almost like she had anxiety. I know this because I do the same thing- the anxiety.

I even asked, "Are you stressed?" As soon as the words came out of my mouth I realized how absurd the actual question was. What does a six year old have to be stressed about? Her daily life consists of rainbows, unicorns, and bubble baths.

But by Sunday night, the breathing seemed to get more difficult. And Rod was leaving town that night, which means odds are one out of four children will have a crisis while he's gone. I thought I'd nip this one quick and go ahead and take her to Urgent Care. By the way, why do they call it "Urgent Care"? There is really nothing urgent about it. It should be called, "We'll get to you when we darn well feel like it Care. Feel free to sit in our germ-infested waiting room for the entire afternoon."

I passed the time by figuring out which people could possibly have the swine flu and rotating seats to maintain a safe perimeter. Lily had almost figured out how to stick a back flip off the waiting room chair, when they finally called her name. I'm sure she would have conquered that feat if her name had been called about 2.2 seconds later. We marched back to the exam room and waited for the doctor. While waiting, Lily was compelled to do a critique of the exam room decor.

This color green is too "marshy" looking.

I like the curtain, except for the part at the top. That part is really ugly. Why did they do that?

What's with this table?

She was just about to share her thoughts on the poor selection of reading material when the doctor walked in. He checked her out, listened to her lungs, checked oxygen levels, breathing patterns, etc... and could find NOTHING wrong with her. Basically his diagnosis was drama.

As we walked out, I told Lily: "You're fine. There is nothing wrong with you."

Lily: "Of course there's nothing wrong with me."


nickernoodle said...

That was totally cracking me up! I have the same experience with Cooper. We will be waiting in the exam room and its like a little squirrel trapped in a shoebox and I swear its a test. I swear they have cameras hidden WITH SOUND that test to see what kind of parent you are. I must pass because Social Services hasn't visited me yet!

That is too funny about her breathing. I can see her doing that and its something Brooklyn would do. When Brooklyn was just a baby I had a serious gall bladder attack and had emergency surgery. A week later I had a relapse and found out the wonderful surgeon forgot one stone and thats what was causing so much pain. Craig rushed me to the ER and they did the same thing. I was in so much pain and wanted a shot and thats saying a lot when I went through both of my childrens births with LITTLE pain meds. The nurse accused me of faking it and I was just there to get drugs. I was wondering just how bad I looked to make her think I was a druggie?!

Glad Lily is ok and you managed to escape the swine flu!!

michelle said...

Every family needs a "drama queen"...they make life so much more exciting.

Adrienne said...

Awesome! Now you can keep an eagle eye on the boys since Lily just suffers from Drama.

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