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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

you know you're a new yorker if...

I don't know if it's like this in other cities, but there is much debate about WHEN one can call himself a New Yorker here. Some say you have to live here 10 years. Some say 3 years. It can actually be quite a violent conversation. It's not that I am pushing to call myself a New Yorker. (I still like to think of myself as a sweet Southern girl.) But considering the AMOUNT OF TAXES we have to pay to live here, I will darn well call myself a New Yorker if I want to.

I recently ran across this list (don't know the author though) of how you know you're a New Yorker. I found myself laughing out loud at a few of them because they were so true.

Enjoy the list.

You know you're a New Yorker if....

1. You say "The City" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

4. You can get into a four hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

5. The subway map makes sense to you.

6. You think the subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.

7. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you bilingual.

8. You've considered smacking someone just for saying "The Big Apple."

9. Your door has more than two locks.

10. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

11. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

12. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

13. You consider Westchester "Upstate."

14. You live/work in a building with a larger population than some American towns.

15. You walk faster than some people run.

16. You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

17. You're paying $1,500 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

18. You've been to New Jersey twice and got lost both times.

19. You pay more each month to insure your car than most people in the US pay in rent.

20. You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

21. You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

22. Your closet is filled with black clothes.

23. When foreigners ask directions, you are nice to them. When other New Yorkers ask directions, you ignore them.

24. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

25. You take fashion seriously.

26. When you pass a celebrity on the street, you don't go to pieces.

27. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

28. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

29. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

30. You've stopped thinking about how many hands touched the subway pole.

31. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

32. You haven't cooked a meal since helping Mom last Thanksgiving.

33. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

34. Your idea of "personal space" is no one actually breathing on you.

35. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

36. You don't hear sirens anymore.

37. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.

38. You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection

39. You're in the background of a tourists' photo.

40. You use the rats in the subway tracks to tell you when the train's approaching the station

41. You move up one block to steal the cab from the person waiting for it below you

42. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

9 comments:

m said...

its interesting that almost everything in the list applies for Tokyo also.
(especially #42 - diversity is hard to find in japan)

oh, and i just love your blog

Susan Wyatt said...

We've lived in the city for a year and a half. We have 3 small kids and my husband is a pastor. We've came from a small city in the south to this great city! I don't know many moms with older kids so I look forward to learning how to do life here with older kids from you. Welcome to the greatest city in the world!

fe said...

Great post, I can't stop laughing!!!!
I've been in the city for 8 months now and I guess, after reading this, I can call myself a New Yorker. Ugh... I don't know if this is good or bad. :-)

pinkbows said...

I love it!

Taylor said...

HA! That list was great!

dkzody said...

Some of this holds true for SF as well. The studio for $1500--I wish! I only buy black, brown, or navy clothes now.

Angelique said...

okay that is hilarious, my husband and I grew up in NY and we now live in lancaster, pa and we have 3 locks on our front door and 4 in our basement. And trust me when I tell you that is so not needful in a place like this. But we are from the NY so go figure.

Liz @ LivingMySweetLife said...

lol, i've been getting that as an email since I got my first aol account. You live in NY now, you're one of us! Have you gone exploring the other boros yet? I'm from queens myself but spent most of my childhood in the city. You must take a trip the the brooklyn aquarium and the bronx zoo. this is the perfect weather for it!

Elizabeth said...

My Mom's family is from the city so I remember family vacations into the city to visit Grandpa at the Harvard Club and my aunt in Queens & an Uncle in Long Island.

Going into the city was the favorite field trip for all my HS classes. I loved all the diversity and culture. I still hope to go back with my husband to take in a show and show him St. Patrick's Cathedral, Tiffany's, FAO Schwartz, Central Park, The Met, The Guggenheim, Broadway, Rockefeller Plaza, ice skating in the winter,Serendipity for treats,.......Other than the summer NY takes full advantage of each season: the fall is just as Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan describe it in You've Got Mail. In the winter to see all the decorations and ice sculptures, & in the spring all the blossoms in Central Park.

I love NYC. Its like a cracker jack box. So much to enjoy and the prize is just a bonus.

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