i burn a lot of calories when i sleep

My husband and I have been married 20 years. And throughout those years we have bought a variety of beds to sleep in. I can't tell you how many times I had to rewrite that sentence so it didn't sound like something else.

The oddest bed was a water bed in the early 90's when we lived in Peru. Let's face it, anyone using a water bed after the 70's is a little strange, right? It should really only be in a room with a lava lamp and an orange shag carpet. But at that time it was difficult to get a real bed in Peru that was not filled with straw, so we shipped a water bed down there and used it for almost 2 years. I was also pregnant with our first child at that time and I'm sure you can visualize a very fat, pregnant woman trying to get out of a water bed each morning. I'll give you a moment to imagine that....It was not a pretty site and I usually had to get some waves going to propel me out. Needless to say, when we moved back to the states, we left the water bed in Peru.

We had a queen sized bed until we had more than 2 kids. When our kids were little they liked to pile in at wee hours of the morning. The more than frequent elbow to the face or knee to stomach prompted us to have the genius idea of LETS GET A KING SIZE BED!

We were quite happy with our king size bed, but then we decided to move to New York. Most apartments are not large enough for king size beds so we downsized once again to a queen. It was traumatic and took some time to adjust to. Apparently, I move around quite a bit when I sleep. Rod relayed the stories in the morning as to how I ran circles around the entire mattress. I had no recollection. What? I don't sleep like a little angel?

And then I noticed an email in my inbox one morning from Rod. What was it? A love email? A email invite to a lovely dinner out? Then I read the message line: THIS IS TOTALLY WHAT YOU HAVE. I opened it and clicked on the link. Apparently the nights are so rough he felt the need to assign a medical diagnosis to me. I had restless leg syndrome. I scanned the article and it said there is no known cure. Unfortunately, that means Rod is going to have to keep sleeping with someone who exercises while sleeping.

I'm so sorry, honey. But I would like to remind you of the time in Peru when I awoke in the middle of the night to find you grasping my head like a basketball, dribbling it back and forth across the bed. You were sound asleep and told me the next morning you dreamed you were actually playing basketball.

This just shows you and I are the most athletic when we are fast asleep.